Love Advice- Gone Wrong!
by Beautiful Sensations
Summary: Gildarts gives Natsu some love advice. A few tips. Some pointers. And Natsu manages to not follow any of them. NaLu oneshot.


The citizens of Magnolia were seen taking a different route as they made their way to the market, or their offices, or schools, or anywhere else in the city.

And why? Well, the why is as plain as Juvia's love for Gray. Gildarts was in town.

The powerful mage was seated at the bar, chatting away with our favourite pink-haired dragonslayer, about new battling techniques, Gildarts' latest job, what an asshat Gray is (well, Natsu was talking about that), food and magic, when Gildarts brought up the topic of girls.

_One _specific girl, in fact. Lucy Heartphilia. Natsu began to retell his last mission with the Celestial mage with much enthusiasm, when Gildarts stopped him short with:

"I see how you look at her."

"W-what?"

Gildarts leaned against the bar and waggled his eyebrows. "I can see it in your eyes, too."

Natsu feigned innocence, but inside he knew _exactly _what the older mage was talking about.

For the past few months, Natsu's perception of Lucy had changed. Vastly. Before, he'd known that Lucy was attractive. Now he _appreciated _it. Before, he'd barge into her apartment, unannounced, at any time of the day. Now, well, he still did, but every time he entered Lucy's house, he'd feel a thrill in his belly.

It was driving him insane; he was insanely possessive about her now, insanely jealous if she laughed or chatted flirtatiously with any other man; he would feel insanely happy if anyone even _mentioned _her name; and he was insanely confused what to do with his newfound feelings, and how to advance.

Natsu's face was an open book- anyone could glance at it and pick up on his emotions. And Gildarts, who was like a father to the dragon slayer, knew exactly what problem Natsu was facing.

"So," he said, grinning widely. "Let me tell you a bit more about the ladies~"

* * *

Natsu was in Lucy's apartment, wringing his hands nervously. He went over whatever Gildarts had told him.

…..

"_Look at her in the eyes, deeply, meaningfully, as if you are staring into her soul."_

"_Why?"_

"_It's called being romantic, Natsu," replied Gildarts, rolling his eyes._

"Natsu? NATSU?"

"Huh?" Natsu blinked, and saw Lucy waving her hand in front of his face, and realised that he had been spacing out.

Lucy laughed. "What were you thinking about?"

"Um…"

Lucy looked at him with curiosity. "What?"

He was trying to look at her in the eyes, but she was looking right back at him with those large, coffee coloured orbs, and suddenly Natsu was agonisingly aware of her _presence,_ the way her skirt brushed against her calves, the few strands of hair which were on her forehead, and the smell of her perfume which was so irresistible.

So he looked anywhere else but at her- his feet, the ceiling, the window, the wall behind Lucy….had that ketchup stain always been there?

…..

"_I know you have a habit of destroying things, especially in Lucy's house, but this time, try to keep the damage level low. Or zero, preferably," Gildarts advised._

"Natsu, are you alright?" asked Lucy, and he could see that she was a little worried. "Has something happened in the guild?"

He'd already botched up Gildarts' first piece of advice, so he figured he really needed to obey this one. Trying to distract Lucy from his nervousness, he said the first thing that came into his mind.

"I'm hungry."

And having said so, he raced towards the kitchen, only to knock over a vase on the way. Natsu winced as he heard the object shatter. So much for not destroying anything.

And then he winced again. Because Lucy had just yelled, "NATSU!"

…..

"_Buy her flowers. Give her a single rose. Women love crap like that."_

Remembering this, Natsu said, "Hey, um, Lucy, I've got something for you." He rummaged in his pockets, only to remember that he had _forgotten _to buy a rose on the way. He felt extremely sheepish as he retracted his hands from his pocket with nothing in them.

But Lucy was looking at him expectantly, so, Natsu being Natsu, said something stupid:

"I've brought _myself. _Isn't that great?"

…..

"_Take her out somewhere romantic. Maybe it can be a fancy restaurant, or a picnic by the river or something."_

There was some silence after his _I've brought myself _statement, but after a moment of awkwardness, Lucy laughed and replied, "It is great! Now go clean up that vase which you knocked over."

As he picked up the broken pieces of ceramic, he thought about which romantic place to take her to. An idea flew into his head, and he grinned. There was no other place as romantic as….

…_the zoo!_

Extremely pleased with himself, he turned towards Lucy and said, "Hey, Luce, let's go to the zoo!"

Twenty minutes later the two of them were at the zoo. Lucy had asked about Happy's whereabouts, but Natsu had shrugged it off and said that he was busy wooing Carla. He had actually left Happy at the guild. He didn't want the blue Exceed to constantly say 'you liiiike her' and interrupt his time with Lucy.

…..

"_Try holding her hand. Brush a strand of hair off her face. Wink at her. You've beaten even the most powerful of mages, Natsu. Now go and try your hand at flirting."_

Sweet Mavis, flirting was a hard as hell. He wanted to hold her hand, but how on earth was he supposed to do that? Was he supposed to just grab her hand? Maybe distract her by yelling, "Look!" and then quickly catch hold of it? Or maybe he supposed to ask her. Yeah, that's a good idea. Natsu had learned, after enduring innumerable beatings from Erza, that when it came to girls, it was better to ask for their assent and approval instead of spontaneously leaping into action.

"Hey Luce, can I hold your hand?"

"W-what?"

"Nothing. Hey, look at those pandas!"

Well, that was a complete fail. At least he'd distracted her by shoving her towards the panda cage. Now Lucy was cooing over the baby pandas and Natsu was utilising this time to pull himself together and calm his pounding heart by taking long, deep breaths.

After that they had some ice-cream, and as Lucy ate hers, some of her hair fell onto her face, and Natsu recalled Gildarts' words. So her brushed her hair off her forehead and tucked them behind her ear, lingering in that position for a few seconds. Their faces were inches apart. Her eyes were wide and he could see a faint blush adorning her cheeks.

_Yes! I did it!_

But then a fly buzzed in front of his face and landed on his nose, causing him to sneeze…

...right into Lucy's face.

"Natsu! That's disgusting!" she cried, punching his arm and taking a step away from him. He yelped and got her a tissue from the man at the ice-cream stall.

Lucy simmered down a few minutes later, but it was only half an hour later Natsu dared try flirting with her again. To apologize, he bought her a hotdog, and when she smiled at him and said thanks, he winked at her.

She looked confused. Thinking that maybe she hadn't understood him, he winked again. And again. But that bewildered expression didn't leave her face and she asked, "Natsu, why are you blinking at me?"

_Damn, _he'd forgotten he didn't know how to wink.

…..

"_Compliment her. Don't say something as plain as 'you're beautiful'. Think about something that you actually love about her, a detail that no one else notices." _

Natsu had made a list of things he loved about Lucy- her mocha eyes, her encouraging smile after the end of a long mission, her sweet-smelling scent which was a coalescence of strawberries, chocolate and something else that was entirely hers, her sunny personality- but now that he was in front of her, all he could manage was:

"You're beautiful."

He quickly averted his gaze and mentally kicked himself for saying the exact _opposite _of what Gildarts had told him to say. And because he was too busy studying his feet due to his embarrassment, he missed the way Lucy's face lit up at his words, and how her cheeks were tinged with pink, just like his.

...

"_Normally I would have told you to be subtle, but I don't think that would be the right solution for you," said Gildarts. "So, I think honesty is better. Tell her openly. Say it fearlessly."_

Natsu had gotten all fired up at that, punching his fist in the air and the like, but now he was downright terrified. So all he said was:

"I, um, Lucy, you- I want to _talkaboutsomethin_g."

"Yeah?"

"Um, I- uh, well…."

And this went on for the next several minutes, until he finally blurted _Iloveyou_ so quickly that he had to repeat it twice for Lucy to understand him.

…..

"_After saying the magic words, be patient. It will be astonishing for her to have you confess to her, so give her some space. Some peace and quiet. Give her time to think."_

Lucy stared at him for about three seconds, mouth open, and then averted her gaze. Her cheeks flamed but she didn't say anything. Gildarts' words were ringing in Natsu's head, but now, instead of giving her some 'peace and quiet', he blubbered on fearfully, because Lucy had gone painfully silent.

"Hey, look at those hippos! They're wallowing in the mud! I loved my ice-cream! Didn't you like yours, Lucy? Hehe, that kid just slipped on a banana peel. Hey, did you hear that? That hippo just farted! THAT HIPPO JUST FARTED AT ME!"

Crap, he wasn't making any sense.

…..

"_Don't kiss her straight away after confessing. Wait for her to reply. You don't want to mess up your friendship, do you?"_

The silence was becoming unbearable, so Natsu being the impatient twit that he is, said again, "I love you, Luce."

And then he leaned over and kissed her, one hand cupping her cheek and another on her waist.

Maybe he didn't need Gildarts' advice. Maybe he was doing fine on his own. Maybe it didn't matter that he was kissing her in front of the hippopotamus cage, which was as romantic as dirt. Maybe it didn't matter that he had screwed up everything that Gildarts had told him. Maybe he wasn't as stupid or ignorant as people thought him to be.

Because Lucy kissed him back.

* * *

**Reviews are most welcome :)**


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